


only the good die young

by diegosknives (eds_spagheds)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Nail Polish, Other, Past Character Death, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Suicidal Thoughts, allison and diego are briefly mentioned too, can be interpreted as ben being suicidal so don’t read if that’s triggering for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 19:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eds_spagheds/pseuds/diegosknives
Summary: set after the time jump in ep10 where ben is struggling to get used to being alive again and hanging out with klaus makes him feel better





	only the good die young

**Author's Note:**

> this started off as a ben character study for my series but then it turned into this whoops I just love these two a lot
> 
> also title is from the billy joel song of the same name

The first thing Ben noticed about being alive again was that it was _really_ hard to remember he was. Especially when he just about clung to Klaus’s side at all times, terrified he’d be gone for good if his brother was out of his sight. It was nice that he could no longer see the other spirits that followed his brother around at all times, but even that didn’t seem to make him feel more alive.

His other siblings still seemed to be getting used to having him around again too. They were all back in their thirteen-year-old bodies, which was jarring enough of it’s own, but it was hard for them all not to jump like they’d seen a ghost whenever Ben walked into the room. He didn’t blame them. It was easy to forget after more than a decade of thinking their brother was dead when suddenly, out of nowhere, he was back.

But he couldn’t seem to get a grip on the land of the living for the life of him, pun intended.

Every time they sat down to a family meal, he had to clamp his mouth shut and pray his stomach would be able to keep it down at least long enough to make it through dinner.

Reginald seemed to not notice the difference in his children, despite what an admittedly horrible job they were doing trying hide it.

Vanya was suddenly included in family activities as often as possible. Five never disappeared the day he did in the original timeline, making everything that came afterwards incredibly unsettling for him. Diego shadowed Klaus, and coincidentally Ben, at seemingly all times, desperate to protect his little brother from all of the abuse he’d let their father get away with growing up. And Luther, despite the fact that he was trying to get better about it, _hated_ leaving Allison alone with Vanya, despite the fact that his sisters were desperately trying to repair their relationship.

And Ben just wanted to be able to hold a book in his hands and read it without shaking so much that it was impossible to make out any words.

He couldn’t even decide if he wanted to go back to how things used to be the first time they were thirteen or if he’d prefer to go back to being a ghost. Not that he could bring that up with any of his siblings, of course. No, he had to pretend he was doing fine and just hide his tremors and stomachaches until they eventually went away. Hopefully.

It wasn’t until one day, about a week after the jump, when he walked into Klaus’s room and found his best friend sitting cross legged on his bed and painting his nails.

“Hey,” he spoke up, making his presence known. Klaus snapped his head up, beaming at his brother.

“Bentacles,” he greeted, setting down the bottle of nail polish and patting the empty space at the end of his bed. “Care to join the party?”

Ben scoffed, but smiled as he crawled onto the bed, folding his legs to mirror Klaus.

“Please, it’s not a party unless I’m here.”

Klaus chuckled, lifting the small container of nail polish colors off his bedside table and dropping it into the space between them.

“See, I always knew you were the smart one,” Klaus said with a look on his face that they both knew would likely receive a punch to the jaw at the very least if Five had heard that comment. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“Can I paint your nails?” He blurted out and Klaus looked like Ben has just told him he’d won the lottery.

“I thought you’d never ask!” Klaus clapped his hands excitedly, an amusement clear in his eyes. “Here. I trust your judgement, mon frere. Make me looks pretty.” He passed the box of polish to Ben, who timidly sorted through the minimal array of colors. He found a dark purple with little sparkles in it and held it up to his brother, silently looking for approval. Klaus grinned, holding up the tiny bottle by his face.

“Does it bring out the color of my eyes?” He suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. Ben giggled, relaxing ever so slightly.

“Yeah they look less shit-brown than usual.” Klaus clutched his chest and feigned offense.

“You wound me, brother mine,” Klaus spoke, smiling but indignant.

He held his hands out nonetheless, his fingers spread apart as he handed the polish back to Ben. Ben bit his lip as he unscrewed the brush, his hand shaking so much as he held it that small drops of polish splattered the lid of the box. He winced.

“Sorry,” he whispered guiltily. “Sorry I just...I don’t know what I’m doing and I thought this would help but it’s not working and I’m gonna’ mess up all your stuff and-“

“Breathe, Benny. Come on,” Klaus interrupted him, placing his hands on his brother’s knees. “Is...is it hard to hold things still?” Ben nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Okay, well we can practice together!” Ben couldn’t stop himself from smiling at that point. He knew Klaus would understand, but he still wanted to be able to figure things out by himself. He felt guilty, in all honesty.

As much as it was a pain to hang around Klaus all those times during his ghost years, his brother was the only thing keeping him from going insane like all of the other spirits that haunted them both for years. He couldn’t even imagine what would’ve happened to him if he hadn’t had Klaus to hang onto for all those years.

But Klaus knew him better than Ben knew himself. If he thought doing this would help, then Ben would try it again.

He carefully held one of Klaus’s hands in his left, holding the brush in his right hand as delicately as possible.

“Just breathe. Start at the base of the nail and brush a straight line to the tip. Don’t worry about trying to cover the whole thing in one stroke,” Klaus instructed encouragingly. Ben nodded and he slowly let the brush hit his brother’s nail. The shimmering purple color glided across his finger as he repeated the process a few times until the nail was covered. When he finally took a moment to look at the first nail, he winced, noticing how the polish spilled over the edges from his shakiness. Klaus, however, didn’t seem to mind.

“See, you totally got this! The first time I did my own nails, I tried to paint them black and Allison thought I burnt my hands,” he laughed, genuinely impressed by his brother’s ability. “Trust me, no matter what you do I’m gonna’ love it, Benny.”

So Ben nodded, took another deep breath, and tried to get used to the feeling of the brush not phasing through his hand. The warmth of Klaus’s palm between his fingers was somewhat grounding, reminding him that he was no longer freezing and lifeless. And Klaus was patient, he kept his hand incredibly still for someone just recently sober, doubled with his anxiety. It took Ben maybe fifteen minutes to finish Klaus’s nails, the range of cleanliness greatly improving from the first nail to the last.

By the time he was done, Klaus looked like he might cry. Yes, Ben had always been supportive of him and his style in all of it’s facets, but for his brother to actually try to engage in it with him...he’d never had anyone in their family try to do that before. Aside from Allison allowing him to borrow from her closet occasionally, everyone had either accepted it and promptly ignored it, or broke his fingers when he’d left his nail polish on during meal time.

His father had eventually learned that preventing Number Four from “expressing himself,” as Grace would say in his defense, was futile and they settled on an agreement; it was only allowed in the house. Klaus was tolerated to wear his nail polish and eyeliner and whatever else he could get his hands on while they were at the academy but the second he stepped out the door of the academy, he had to look just as masculine and socially acceptable as his brothers. Which he decided was definitely better than nothing.

But to see Ben genuinely reach out to him and try to be a part of the things that made his brother happy...well he would’ve guessed he was dreaming.

“Thanks Klaus,” Ben smiled as he helped put away the box of polish while Klaus flapped his hands around waiting for his nails to dry.

“You’re thanking _me_? Hell, I should be thanking _you_ ,” he giggled, both boys swinging their legs to hand over the edge of the bed. “In all honesty, I think you’re better at this than I am.” Ben blushed scarlet. “If you’re ever in the mood to pamper your dear old _favorite_ brother,” Klaus drawled, leaning his head against Ben’s shoulder, only to be shrugged off with a laugh. “You know where the find me.”

Ben nodded and as he looked down at his shoes he had tied perfectly without even noticing. He stared for a moment, remembering how many times he’d had to start over as he was getting dressed that same morning.

He’d never felt so alive.

He didn’t even notice the tears welling up in his eyes until he felt one roll down his cheek. He hastily brushed it away, but not fast enough for Klaus to miss it.

“Hey,” his brother spoke, gently nudging him with his shoulder. “You know you can talk to me, right?” Ben looked up and met Klaus’s eyes. His brother looked genuinely nervous, like he legitimately wasn’t sure if Ben knew he could trust him.

So he nodded and watched Klaus’s shoulders relax.

“I know I talk a lot of shit, but I promise to keep whatever’s going on just our little secret.” Ben snorted, as if trying to get everything covering up his secret out of his system. He took a deep breath and looked down at his hands.

“Sometimes I wish I was still dead.”

He was silent. Klaus Hargreeves was silent. For the first time in thirty years, Klaus Hargreeves didn’t know what to say.

So they sat side by side, Klaus gingerly taking Ben’s hand and rubbing circles into his palm. He knew if he tried to speak prematurely he’d just end up crying so he tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t break his own heart.

“I don’t blame you,” he settled on, not meeting Ben’s eyes. “Hell, I can see things now that I basically avoided for years but you...your whole life came rushing back. All of your senses, all of your emotions...I can’t even begin to imagine.”

Ben bit his lip and nodded, trying to squeeze his eyes shut and prevent any more tears from falling, but to no avail.

“Ben,” Klaus spoke softly, not receiving a reaction. “Benny.” Again, the boy didn’t make any move to look at him. “Bentacles, you know you don’t have to do this on your own, yeah? I mean, you’re basically the only reason I was able to stay sober this time. That, and Diego, bless his soul,” Klaus said, thankfully getting a small laugh. “You saved me, you know that? More times than I could begin to count. You saved me from myself when I was really not any fucking help at _all_.”

Ben snorted and Klaus considered that a good time to put his arm around his little brother, pulling his newly-teenaged body against his chest.

“You were a real pain in this ass,” Ben all but whispered.

“I was! I really was, and I probably still am, to be honest,” Klaus exclaimed, laughing despite the topic. “But you stuck by me every time I screwed myself over, so I’m here to help you too.”

Ben smiled, leaning his head onto Klaus’s shoulder.

“You’re a good brother, Klaus.”

Klaus chuckled. “I’m not, but I’m learning from the best.” And with that he turned and squeezed his little brother around the middle so tightly he screamed and Klaus tackled him onto his bed, both boys squealing with surprise and laughter. “We’re gonna’ figure this out. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank y’all so much for reading!! I absolutely love writing for this show and ben is definitely one of my favessss I love him so much and I can’t wait for him to be a series regular in season 2!!
> 
> if you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos, or check me out on tumblr @krustywhore! 
> 
> and if you would like to see more things like this, feel free to drop a request either in the comments or on tumblr! I usually get one-shots done within a day or two so ask away :)
> 
> xoxo


End file.
